naughty Joke

ब्वॉयफ्रेंड (फोन पर)- हाय स्वीटहार्ट क्या कर रही हो?

गर्लफ्रेंड- मेरी तबीयत खराब है जानू सोने जा रही हूं।

तुम..?

ब्वॉयफे्रंड- मैं सिनेमा हॉल में तेरे पीछे बैठा हूं।

gudgudi

एक बार एक आदमी गांव में स्कूटर पर जा रहा था अचानक पेट्रोल खतम हो गया, वहां से संता गुजर रहा था आदमी ने संता से पूछा- सरदार जी आस-पास कोई पेट्रोल पम्प है क्या? मेरे स्कूटर का पेट्रोल खतम हो गया है

संता दिमाग पर जोर डाल कर कुछ सोच के बोला- इस टाइम कहां पेट्रोल पम्प ढूंढता फिरेगा, रात का टाइम है पानी डाल के ले जा, स्कूटर को क्या पता चलेगा की पानी है या पेट्रोल।

Nice....!!!

एक बूढ़ी औरत फिल्म देखने गई वो कभी 15 मिनट में कभी 20 मिनट में कोल्ड ड्रिंक की कैन में मुंह लगाती और फिर कैन वहीं रख देती।

पास बैठा लड़का यह देखकर परेशान गया, उसने कैन उठाई और एक बार में ही खाली कर दी और बोला- ऐसे पी जाती है कोल्ड ड्रिंक आंटी जी।

बुढि़या- लेकिन बेटा तुमसे किसने कहा कि कैन में कोल्ड ड्रिंक थी, मैं तो उसमें पान थूक रही थी।

Ssanta Joke

Santa: If I die will u remarry? 
Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry? 
Santa: No, I'll also stay with ur sister

Santa Joke

Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga? 
Doc: Haan, bilkul. 
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

Naughty Joke

A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!

Cute baby

A Little Girl and Her Father were Crossing a Bridge. 
The Father was Kind of Scared So He Asked His Little Daughter Sweetheart, please Hold my Hand So that You Don't Fall into the River. 
The Little Girl Said, No, Dad. You Hold my Hand. 
What's the Difference? Asked the puzzled Father. 
There's a Big Difference replied the Little Girl. 
If i Hold Ur Hand and Something Happens to me, Chances r dat i may Let Ur Hand Go. But if U Hold my Hand, i Know For

Santa Joke

Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? 
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

Santa Joke

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khediye. 
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoe paa ke hune aaya.

Naughty Joke

Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins..

SAnta Banata Joke

Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si? 
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich. 
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi

Santa Banta Joke

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

Naughty Joke

Lady: Time kitna hua hai? 
Banta: Bra Panties. 
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense. 
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35

Naughty Joke

Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal. 
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai. 
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal. 
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.? 
Santa: Very long.....!

naughty Joke

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai? 
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon

naughty joke

Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai. 
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi

naughty joke

Santa: What's difference between man & Superman? 
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.

..............!!!

Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone 
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch 
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner 
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire 
Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings

Straight Tree

A beutiful quote:
Don't be too honest and
Good with every one"
Because straight trees are
Choosed first for cutting.

Adadat

Kanto Se Damaan Uljana Meri Aadat Hai,
Dil Me Paraya Dard Basana Meri Aadat Hai,
Jin Ko Dunia Ne Thukraya,
Aise Logon Ko Apnana Meri Aadat Hai.

best way to make carrier

Pyar se NASHA hota hai.NASHE se junun.JUNUN se mehnat.MEHNAT se padhai.PADHAI se CAREER. Isliye CAREER banane k liye life mein pyar krna bahut zaruri hai.

santa interview

SANTA at Microsoft for an Interview..
.
Interviewer : Which are the four version of Java .?
.
Santa : (1)Mar-Java, (2)Mit-Java, (3)Lut-Java, (4) Me Sadke-Java..
.
Interviewer : Aata tumhi Ghari-Java..

santa ki bhabhi

santa ne apni bhabhi ko khub mara 
logo n pucha q?
santa-yaar , mai jis se bhi puchta hu ki tum phone pe kis se baat kar rahe ho?
har koi kehta h teri bhabhi se..........

900 chuhay

Master : Khali jaga pura karo..

900 chuhay kha kar Billi___chali..

Stdnt: 900 chohay kha kr Billi Matak Matak kr chali..

Master(Ghusse se)
Kharay ho jao, mazak krte ho?

Stdnt: Sir ye B mene ap ka dil rkhne k liye keh dia warna
900 chuhay kha kr Billi chal to kya Hil b nhi sakti...!

Pappu

Teachar- Beta Chori Krna Buri Baat Hai,
Chori Ka Fal Hmesha Kadva Hota He
.
.
.
.
Pappu- Bas Ab Chup Ho Ja Kamini Jhuti Maine Kal Hi APPLE Chori Krke Khaaye Woh Bade Mithe The.

How Sweet

A Boy texts a girl
Boy: Hey!
Girl: Hi! What u doing?
Boy: texting the most beautiful girl in the world.
Girl: Aww How cute!
Boy: Ya! But She is not replying, so m texting U!

Past tense

A bf, who is good in English, is teaching
his gf about tense.
Bf:- YOU LOVE ME. Which tense is it?
Gf:- PAST TENSE.

Naughty Joke

Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins..

Naughty Joke

Agr Aapko 18 Saal ki Larki Jhuk Kar Salam Kary
To Aapko Uski Kya Cheez Nazar Aayegi?

.
.
.
.
.

Uski Achi Tarbiyat.


Bhai Hath Jorta Hon Kabhi To Sahi Socha Karo. :-)

Naughty Joke

ek lrka ek larki
aha aha
adhi raat ko
oho oho
jungle main
wah wah
jhari k peichay
ouii
sab say chup k
UFF
DABA DABA k
aha aha
mango kaha rahey they

Naughty Joke

Boss to an Employee: "Do you believe in life after death?"

Employee: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.

Boss: "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you." :->

3 Simple rules in life

3 Simple rules in life

1. If you do not GO after what you want,
You will never have it.

2. If you do not ASK,
The answer will always be NO.

3.If you do not step FORWARD,
You will ALWAYS be in the same place.

Naughty Joke

Girl: Bas karo koi dekh lega,
boy: Kuch nahi hoga tum sidhi raho,
Waha se hath hatao,
Pls thoda sa dikha do,
Agar nahi dikhaya to main..

?

?

?

Fail ho Jaunga!

RELATION

For a True reletion... ♥



♥ Zindagi k jung mai agar koi apse ruthe to use turant mana lo.. ♥



qki,,



♥ duriyo aur najdikiyo mai aksar Dooriyan jeet jaya karti hai.. ♥

Shaadi me Dahej

Effect of price rise of
petrol on dowry:
Lrki wali: wase aap shadi
me gold-silvr ke alawe
kaun c car lenge??
Lrke wale: na na in sb
chezo ki tnsn aap na
lo,aapki beti ke leye car
hm khrid denge,
bs aap petrol bhrwate
rehna!!!

MUJRA !!!

English Tcher:Btao ya kon sa tense he?

"Me Nach rha hu,
Tum Nach rhe ho,
Wo Nach rhi he..hm sb Nach rhe he,"

STUDENT:Sir ye
"MUJRA Continous Tense"he. . .

Khudgusi

Santa Khudkushi par speech de raha tha
Khudkushi Paap hai
Zulm hai Gunah hai
Buzdili hai Pagalpan hai
khudkushi krne se behtar hai insan khud ko
Goli maarle!

U Know Ladies

Police to thief:Y u went 2 steal thrice in the same store?

Thief:I stole 1 dress for my wife n went to change it twice...!U knw about ladies...!